Yes it's an obsession and you are a fanatic. Don't try and fight it, you are totally lost and beyond all hope. There is no cure and there is only one thing to do to keep yourself sane - keep on sailing.
I believe that everyones life is a spiritual journey and each one of us has the opportunity to learn and grow on that spiritual path. We take this enigmatic, paradoxical journey, this flow of human consciousness with its deep sharp realities and its moments of transcendence both alone and together with other people. We all suffer, we all have our peak experiences, we all seek meaning. We are all on a voyage of discovery, a time of learning and development - a circumnavigation of the time given to us on this planet. It is both an outer journey of relationship to the external world and a journey inwards to discover and understand ourselves. Where does the journey lead us as we seek realisation / individuation ? What is the ultimate end, the eternal value of it all? - I live in hope and faith that beyond time and space a safe harbour awaits us where we will find our true selves and find that our names were always written there from all eternity.